


don't trust everything you read on the internet

by sebastian2017



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-29
Updated: 2020-01-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:21:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22304848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sebastian2017/pseuds/sebastian2017
Summary: Soon after getting out of the ice, Steve starts fake dating Natasha so the press will stop stalking him in hopes of finding details about his love life. It works out great for the both of them and everything's all fun and games, until Steve realizes he maaaybe forgot to explain the situation to Bucky when he came back.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Comments: 17
Kudos: 207
Collections: Stucky Bingo 2019





	don't trust everything you read on the internet

**Author's Note:**

> cw: food and alcohol 
> 
> fill for Stucky bingo for the 'Fake Dating' square. Enjoy!

Natasha is a good friend. A very, very good friend. Steve knows this and makes sure to be grateful for it on a regular basis. Even if he didn't know it or started taking it for granted, he's absolutely sure that Natasha would never let him forget it. Steve doesn't think she'd ever be the type to withhold her help in exchange for praise or recognition, but he wouldn't put it past her to send him a slew of passive aggressive texts or leave notes all over his apartment if he ever starts to forget it. All while still helping him out in all the many ridiculous ways Captain America sometimes requires assistance. Because again. Good friend. 

Steve had made it maybe three months into life in the future before getting tired of the the constant tabloids and headlines. Steve can't walk down the street to pick up a bagel without photographers getting shots of every second of it and asking him horrifically intrusive questions. The tabloids will slap anything at all onto the covers if he's involved, without much care for what he's actually doing. Their favorite thing, though, is to contemplate his love life. By far. Steve feels bad for all the women who so much as breathe around him, because inevitably, some publication will snag a picture and post it all over with rumors that he's started dating again. 

It's all ridiculous, in more ways than one. To begin with, he's not sure how anyone could think that he'd start a relationship again so soon after, from his perspective, losing Bucky and Peggy. Even if most people didn't know about his time with Bucky or his time with the two of them together, Steve knows for a fact that his relationship with Peggy is something the history books absolutely adore. How the whole modern world could love his relationship with Peggy so much but then expect him to hop right back into the game after what to him had only been a few months of losing her, he's not sure. Then, there's the fact that the tabloids only ever start rumours about him being in relationships with the women he's around, despite Steve being very much interested in all genders. He'd never been very good at hiding it even back when it was illegal and he'd simply confirmed all the rumors as soon as he could, so there's really no reason for the paps who follow him to be so preoccupied with only the women around him. But as annoyingly heteronormative as it is, Steve should probably just be grateful that he doesn't have to deal with this anymore than he already does. Because it's bad enough when it only happens with the women he's around. Steve's sure he would have lost his mind by now if this happened with every one of his friends. 

Really, he'd lost his mind enough with just the rumors about all the women around him. He'd only made it half a year before they got to be too much and he'd started avoiding the outside world as much as possible. Steve's days had been, for better or for worse, just hanging around his apartment or the Avengers tower, training and sketching or sketching and training. It was enough to drive anyone mad. Which is where Natasha, truly the best friend any defrosted superhero with a nonexistent love life in the spotlight could ask for. She'd made it sound so simple and obvious when, after interrupting Steve's moaning and complaining one day, suggested that all Steve needed to do was give the tabloids what they wanted. 

A girlfriend to the great Captain America. They would go wild for a few weeks and then the excitement would die down once everyone got used to Cap as a settled man. No more getting caught up in the excitement of a new girlfriend every few days. No more starting rumors because he'd stopped to thank the barista with too long a smile or helped some stranger in the park recuperate a runaway dog. Just a few weeks of commotion, a couple of PR events with a dame at his side every once in a while, and Steve wouldn't have to spend his whole life hiding away from photographers. 

Natasha was a genius, Steve was sure. A genius who probably thought that Steve was very, very dumb, especially judging by the way she looked at him when Steve had lamented that it was the perfect plan, but he didn't actually know any women he was close enough with to ask them to do such a huge favor for him. 

"God, you're lucky you've got that cute kicked puppy look to you or no one would ever put up with you for more than two minutes at a time," she'd lamented, shaking her head. "Why do you think  _ I'm  _ the one who's suggesting this to you?" 

"I take offense to that, just for the record," Steve had grumbled. "And... wait. Is this your way of offering to be my fake girlfriend?" 

Natasha had nodded. "Eh. My love life is nonexistent anyway and I can't think of anyone I'd rather be a beard for. So, yes. Consider this my official offer." 

"Beard?" 

"God, you really are hopeless, Rogers. Come on, let's go pick matching outfits to get photographed in when we leave the Tower." 

Which, short story long, is how Steve had somehow ended up with the Black Widow for a fake girlfriend. Just like Natasha had said, the press had eaten it up. They seemed to love this story more than even any of the random women Steve had been rumored to date in the past. Steve supposes he can see the appeal. A superhero romance between teammates on the Avengers, practically setting the standard for power couples everywhere. The papers all but sold themselves. Steve might resent the fact that he needs a fake girlfriend at all, but he's thankful for Natasha doing it for him. After losing Bucky and Peggy within a week of each other, Steve doesn't plan on being with anyone again any time soon. 

Until, of course, things get flipped onto their head again, because that seems to be all that happens in Steve's life these days. 

Because it seems that just as Steve gets used to life without Bucky, he gets him back. It's not so simple, of course, there's the messy fall of SHIELD and an equally messy stretch of time searching for Bucky. But Steve had gone through a trial of scientific experimentations and gone across the ocean into a war zone to be with Bucky again. He can wait a little while longer to see Bucky again. Fighting to help him get his memories back seems like a small thing to do compared to single handedly freeing a camp of prisoners from HYDRA in enemy territory. Being willing to put in the effort and the fight doesn't make it any less frustrating, though. 

Bucky is there, he's back, and he's alive and well. But he also has giant gaps in his memory. Giant Steve-sized gaps, because he doesn't seem to remember a damn about his and Steve's relationship together. Steve tries to not dwell on it too much. It's no one's fault and he knows it's not a sign of how much Bucky cares for him. It's just the way it is. Unfortunately, it also means that Steve's initial plan of ending it publically with Natasha to be with Bucky instead has to be put on hold. Steve's in no rush to get interrogated for every interaction with a woman again. Or worse, for the press and bloggers to be all over Bucky, interrogating him about his relationship with Steve. There's nothing that can go well about that. It might bring up memories in an unpleasant way or frustrate Bucky because he doesn't know how to answer one of the intrusive questions. Or worse, he might end up feeling pressured towards doing something. Steve misses being with Bucky, no doubt, but he would rather have Bucky as he is now, happy and perhaps missing a part of who he once was, than uncomfortable and trying to be someone he isn't anymore for Steve's sake. 

It's not a great place to be, but it's a small sacrifice to make for Bucky. 

Most nights since Bucky had moved into Steve's apartment, Steve dreams of when they were younger and together and most mornings, Steve sits down with his coffee to sketch, because it's the only way to keep sane when he dreams of Bucky every night. He hasn't drawn this much since back when he was scrawny and could barely walk down the block without getting out of breath. Steve is in the middle of sketching an old memory - Bucky back in their old Brooklyn apartment, just waking up as the sunlight hits him across the face - when Bucky comes in. He mumbles a sleepy good morning and then leans in closer to Steve. 

"Whatcha drawing?" he asks. 

Steve is quick to close his notebook and push it to the side, trusting Bucky not to go prying once it's closed. He very much does  _ not  _ want to explain to Bucky why Steve knows what he looks like half naked and sleepy in bed. To change the subject a bit, he goes to pour out a mug of coffee for him. "Don't worry about it. Did you sleep well? I don't think you've slept in this late since I got here." 

"All right then. Keep your secrets," Bucky agrees. He says it in the tone that he usually reserves for quotations and 'memes', but Bucky had taken to catching up on popular culture much better than Steve had, so it's no surprise when Steve doesn't recognize it. Bucky checks the time on his phone - again, much quicker about the adaptation than Steve - and makes a soft noise of surprise. "Huh. I did. I guess you just make me feel comfortable enough to knock out like that." 

"I'm real glad to hear that, Bucky," Steve says, giving him a perfectly  _ friendly  _ pat on the back and sitting down. 

And he is. Some nights, when Bucky wakes up screaming and panicking from a nightmare, it tears Steve apart inside that he can't just climb into bed with him and hold him tight to chase all the nightmares away, but it feels a bit better to know that at the very least, he can help him just by being here like this. He knows it doesn't do either of them any good to dwell on the past and what they once had. It'll come back or it won't. There's not much either of them can do except wait. And as for Steve, he does his very best to make sure that he remembers to be thankful for what they have now, without giving much thought to the past or potential futures. 

No matter how difficult Bucky makes it. And God... He really makes it difficult at times, even though he must have no idea what he's doing. Right now, he's pulled his chair up to sit so close to Steve that their knees touch while they drink their coffee and have their breakfast. And once they're done and Steve's washing off their dishes, Bucky goes to grab things out of the shelves above him, without a care in the world that it involves pressing up close against Steve's back. And despite how very badly he wants to react, Steve forces himself to take it in stride. Bucky is still adjusting to a life where human contact isn't reserved solely for pain and mistreatment. He need someone to get touch from without it being attached to anything and if that's Steve, then he'll be honored to be that for Bucky. 

But, boy, is it difficult sometimes. When a knock at the door interrupts their movie watching - Bucky is appalled that Steve still hasn't seen Star Wars despite having been out of the ice longer than Bucky - there's a small part of Steve that is thankful for the distraction from how close Bucky sits and how many casual, meaningless touches there are between them. He feels horribly guilty about being relieved, but he feels it nonetheless. 

"I'll get it," Bucky says, getting up and going towards the door before Steve can stop him. He's glad, at least to see that he's not holding any knives behind his back. Natasha is standing on the other side when Bucky opens the door and he immediately steps away again. "For you, Steve." 

"Oh. Hey, Natasha. I didn't know you were coming over," Steve says. He's frowning as he stands up, because in his line of work, an unexpected visit like this can really only mean trouble. 

"I'm in my bedroom, if you need anything, Stevie," Bucky mumbles, and disappears to his room. He doesn't look too pleased, but Steve assumes he can just connect the dots and realize as quickly as Steve did that he's probably being called away. 

Natasha watches him go for a second before shrugging at Steve. The very familiar 'sorry to barge into your life, but the world is at danger in someway' shrug. "Duty calls." 

"Of course it does." Steve sighs. "Give me a few minutes to say bye to Bucky and I'll meet you downstairs." 

"You can let him know we don't expect this one to go overnight. You've got five minutes."

She knows better than to argue, since Steve is stubborn when it comes to Bucky. Fury had made the mistake of underestimating just how strongly Steve's loyalty runs and tried to insist that Steve not be allowed to keep in touch with Bucky during his mission. Steve had simply refused to go on that particular job. Since then, the Avengers and everyone who works with them know better than to get in between the two of them. 

Steve knocks once on the door before pushing it open just a bit. He peers in to see Bucky and half smiles at him. "Hey. I guess you probably can take a guess what that was about. I've got to head out on Avengers business. Nat says we should be back tonight. You'll be okay on your own for a few hours, right?" 

"Yeah, yeah. Don't worry about me. I'm a big boy. I'll call Sam and annoy him for a bit if anything comes up," he promises. And before Steve can insist that Bucky's never an annoyance, Bucky adds, "So you're coming back home tonight? Not staying over there with her?" 

"Huh?" Steve frowns and assumes Bucky is wondering if he'll stay at the Tower with the rest of the team, like they sometimes do when they have to be on extra vigilant call for a few days. Usually after some big shot supervillain calls in a vague, ominous threat to the city. "Nah, Buck. It might be real late by the time I come home, but I plan on sleeping in my own bed. Don't wait up for me, though, okay? If you want, I'll pop my head in to let you know when I'm back." 

"Yeah... I'd like that," Bucky agrees. He sighs, clearly not pleased with any of this, but Steve can't blame him. He's not too pleased either. "All right. Be careful out there, okay? Don't do anything stupid." 

Steve just laughs and waves goodbye. He picks up his shield and uniform from the bag he has hanging near the front door and goes downstairs to meet Natasha. She's waiting in a car idling by the curb, which is not at  _ all  _ subtle. But then again, most people know where he lives anyway, if they put in enough effort to snooping thoroughly, and there's nothing subtle about walking out of a building with a star spangled shield in hand, either. Let Natasha have her fancy, SHIELD issued cars. 

"How's your boy doing? Any bad flashbacks lately?" she asks, taking off before he even has a chance to put his seatbelt on. 

"He's not my boy," Steve corrects, perhaps a touch too quickly. "And no. He's been doing really well, actually. Even slept in this morning without any nightmares. Why do you ask?" 

"Hmm. He was glaring at me so harshly when I was upstairs, I half thought he'd regressed back into the Winter Soldier and was about to attack," Natasha explains. 

Steve frowns a bit. Mostly because he hadn't noticed and he tries to keep a close eye on Bucky's behavior and anything out of the ordinary. "Oh. He was probably just a bit frustrated because he won't get to show me the entirety of Star Wars today. He hasn't shown any aggressive behavior or anything like that lately, if that's what you're worried about." 

"Well. Good to know," she says, giving Steve a strange look. 

Normally, Steve would push a bit more, or try to figure out what it meant, but right now, he has to read up on what exactly they're getting into and get his mind into the right place for a fight. He can worry about Bucky's glares and Natasha's knowing glances later. For now: Avengering. 

***

In retrospect, the fight they got called into was probably not an Avengers level threat. Like many supervillains, this one had been talking himself up far too much and his army of robots were so easy to take down, any one of them could have probably done it solo. Better to be safe than sorry, Steve supposes, even if he is a little bummed about having been taken away from Bucky for so insignificant a reason. The good part, at least, is that he gets home at a reasonable time. It's not even midnight when he comes through their front door again. And sure, maybe his sense of what times are reasonable or not has been skewed lately, but this doesn't feel too bad. Bucky is still awake, which is really all Steve cares about. 

Bucky's splayed out on the couch, watching some documentary about space. As soon as Steve comes in, though, he sits up straighter. Somehow, though, despite straightening out, he still looks like all his muscles are infinitely less tense now. Steve knows he worries when he's out at work. That's his least favorite part of having to leave to work. Steve resists the urge to throw himself down across the couch and pull Bucky up against him and instead, just waves at him and goes over to sit next to him. 

"Hey, Buck. I hope you didn't stay up on my account. It really wasn't all too serious a fight," Steve assures him. 

"You know my sleep schedule's a mess these days anyway," Bucky says, shrugging. "No Nat?" 

"Nat?" Steve frowns. It seems strange he'd ask about her again, but then again, other than Sam, she's probably the one person Bucky sees the most besides Steve. She's usually the one who comes to pick him up when Avengers duty calls and yeah, she's stayed over a few times, but only ever when things are well and truly hectic and they need to stay vigilant, but don't want to put with the Tower. And even then, Steve had always given Bucky plenty of heads up. Ah, well, Steve writes it off as Bucky perhaps having overestimated the threat level of this particular day. "Nah, she went back to her own place." 

"And you're staying here tonight?" he asks. 

It's odd, but Bucky's needed lots of extra assurances in the process of getting his memories back. Steve's used to being patient and answering the same question several times. He reaches over and gives Bucky's knee a friendly pat. "Yup. You're stuck with me tonight, pal." 

"Good," Bucky says, visibly relaxing. "I wouldn't have it any other way, punk." 

And yes, it might be a strange sort of exchange, but Steve doesn't dwell on it too much. Bucky's past has changed his behavior sometimes, but Steve prefers this a million times over no Bucky at all. So even though he doesn't particularly care about dark matter or the expansion of the universe, he does care about spending time with Bucky, so Steve settles down on the couch and readies himself for a long night of this. Stable sleeping patterns are overrated. 

***

The next time Steve notices Bucky acting strange, it's when Steve's extended a last minute offer to accompany Natasha to a barbecue at Clint's apartment building. Natasha had invited him to tag along as her plus one, more because there's few other people who'll agree to new plans on a two hour's notice and she needs help handling so many civilians in one place than because she wanted company. And, of course, as everyone on the team had figured out quickly enough, any invitation that involves Steve has to involve Bucky by default, so as soon as he hangs up on his call with Natasha, he tells Bucky his plans and assures him he's welcome to come along with them. 

Bucky just frowns at him. "Are you sure you don't just wanna go with Natasha?"

"Well..." Steve frowns, trying to make sure he answers well, somewhere on the fine line between making Bucky feel unwelcome and making him feel pressured. "Do you not want to go? If you're worried about who'll be there, Clint loves you and his neighbors are all friendly from what I've heard." 

"No, it's not that, it's just... Never mind. I'd love to tag along with you two," Bucky agrees, nodding. 

And for all he tries to keep his opinions and reactions mild so he won't influence Bucky unfairly, he can't help but grin brightly at that. "Great! I'll let Clint know so he can make enough food. He really will be happy you're there. Everyone loves to see you." 

Bucky smirks at him. "I think they're just happy to see you and I just so happen to be by your side, Stevie." 

"Me? Oh, please." Steve scoffs. "Nah, you're definitely the star, Buck." 

"Well, come help the star find something to wear. I need to look good for all my fans, obviously," Bucky says, standing up and grabbing Steve's hand to pull him towards the bedrooms. 

Steve rolls his eyes fondly, but is more than happy to follow Bucky to his bedroom and spend an hour watching Bucky try on all his different outfits. Bucky had adjusted to a lot of the 21st century well, but among his favorite things was probably how diverse fashion was these days. Bucky had always been the more fashionable between the two of them. Steve's used to being pulled aside like this and having to sit as a captive audience while Bucky tries on a dozen different outfits. It doesn't even sting anymore when Bucky takes his clothes and changes in his bathroom, where Steve can't see him. 

They end up getting to the barbecue late, partly because of Bucky's outfits and partly because Steve's never had the heart to turn away little fans and ends up taking pictures and signing autographs for what feels like every little kid that lives on Clint's street. Natasha glares at him when he finally gets to the roof and stalks over. 

"Twenty three minutes. That's how long I had to make small talk with some random civilian because you were late. Twenty three minutes, Rogers," she says. She shoves an empty red plastic cup into his hands and stalks away. "I'm drinking rum and Cokes. Be a dear and get my refills." 

Steve rolls his eyes a bit, though he does go towards the bar with Bucky to refill her drink. "You'd think I threw her to the wolves or something. That's Nat, I guess. You want anything to drink, Buck?" 

Bucky pats his arm. "Don't worry, she'll come around. A face like yours, I'm sure you won't be in the doghouse for long. And I'll take a beer." 

Steve is about to explain to Bucky how he's in the doghouse with the Avengers pretty often, considering how often he gets into trouble for ignoring direct commands, but Clint spots them among the crowd and rushes over to say hello. They don't see each other as often because of their schedules, but he'd been very open about being on Steve's side and defending Bucky's right to heal and live his life without paying for Hydra's crimes. Bucky's still rather uncomfortable around him, since they haven't spent nearly enough time together to develop any sort of camaraderie, but Steve talks him up enough that even Bucky waves cheerfully in his direction when he goes towards them. 

"Hey, there! I was hoping you'd come. I even got that fancy tasting beer you both like. Figure if you can't get drunk on it, it might as well taste good, right?" Clint gives and fishes out two beers from the ice to hand to them. He spots Natasha's lipstick stained cup and snorts as he grabs the appropriate bottles to refill it. "Did Nat put you on refill duty? Lucky me, I'm usually the poor sucker left doing that." 

"Payback for being late and leaving her to the horrors of small talk, apparently," Steve explains. "If you can even believe I'd do something so heinous." 

Clint laughs and nods in understanding. "I've been there. Don't feel too bad. Nat usually finds some excuse to get someone on drinks duty for her. Watch out, Bucky, because I'm sure your turn will pop up soon enough." 

Bucky laughs strangely, hollow, and shakes his head. "I'll leave that to Steve, I think." 

"Yeah, I usually like to leave all the hard work to Steve, too." Clint agrees. And just in case Bucky got the wrong idea, he adds, "But really, if she asks you to run errands like that for her, feel free to say no. She looks scary, but I can pretty much vouch that she's harmless. Unless you're evil, which, clearly not." 

"Clearly," Bucky repeats sarcastically. 

Steve decides this conversation doesn't have very many good ways it can go, so he intervenes to veer it towards easier territory. "Is Lucky around, Clint?" 

"He's up here somewhere, probably stealing food from unsuspecting tenants. Want me to go find him?" Clint asks and runs off before he gets an answer, eager to find his dog. 

Ten minutes later, Steve and Bucky are tucked away in a quiet corner of the roof, eating their burgers and giving Lucky a belly rub. It's pretty much a perfect Sunday evening, as far as Steve's concerned, and Bucky seems happy too, which is always a plus. Steve had never been particularly good at withholding things from Bucky, but now that he actually has the resources to give Bucky the world, it takes a great deal of effort not to just pluck the moon out of the sky for him. 

"We should get a dog," Steve suggests. Bucky clearly enjoys giving Lucky attention and while Steve had always been too busy with work to give a dog the attention it deserves, it might be the perfect thing to keep Bucky busy when Steve has to leave on longer missions. 

"A dog?" Bucky says, glancing up at Steve. "Does Nat like dogs? I mean, I definitely wouldn't mind. It'd be kinda fun." 

"Does it matter if Nat likes dogs?" Steve frowns, but then decides to just focus on the second half, the actual answer. "Maybe we can head down to the shelter next weekend and look around." 

"I'd like that," Bucky agrees. 

And then he grins up at Steve and yeah, Steve's heart just about melts and he remembers a thousand times over why he does this. Anything at all for his Bucky. They spend most of the evening in their quiet corner with Lucky, which is a perfect night. He'd failed utterly at his job fetching drinks for Nat, but she doesn't seem too bothered by it. She even teases the two of them for staying in a corner with the dog for the entirety of the party. He's sure she'll never say it out loud, but he has a feeling she's growing a bit of a soft spot for Bucky. (Which is good. As far as Steve's concerned, everyone should have a soft spot for Bucky.) 

***

They end up not getting a dog when they visit the animal shelter. Not because they don't mean to, but because they walk in and somehow Bucky ends up in the cat section and falls absolutely head over heels in love with a fluffy white cat. Steve knows nothing about cats and is almost convinced this particular cat hates every living creature besides Bucky, but Bucky adores the thing within seconds of meeting it and Steve can't say no to that. So instead of a dumb, lovable mutt to go on runs and play fetch with, they come home with a cat who immediately makes a home on top of Steve's pillow. Usually while he's trying to sleep there. 

Bucky's enamored, though. Steve reminds himself that every time he wakes up in the middle of the night to the cat - Alpine Rogers-Barnes, Bucky dubs him, which gets Steve's stomach tangled up in knots, though he tries not to think about it - trying to suffocate Steve by laying on his face. 

In fact, Bucky is so very enamored with Alpine that he throws the cat a damn welcoming party. He invites Nat and Sam over for dinner one night and hangs up a 'Welcome Home, Alpine' banner in the kitchen. Alpine, of course, hisses at their guests and runs away to hide the second they get there, but Bucky looks so pleased, you'd think Alpine had just gotten up on it's back legs, started to juggle, and made a grand feast for their guests. 

"Isn't he neat?" Bucky asks, grinning as he watches him run away and then sits down at the kitchen table, where there's kitty shaped cookies as snacks for their guests. It's so adorable, Steve doesn't even mind that he suspects Alpine will try to kill him again tonight. 

"Well..." Sam glances down the hallway where Alpine's just disappeared and sits down warily. "He seems like he'll fit right in." 

"I bet you could train him to attack enemies," Nat says, reaching for a cookie. 

Bucky's eyes widen with interest, enough that Steve makes a mental note to keep an eye out for any signs that Alpine is becoming an actual killer cat. "Ooh, I bet you're right. I figured you'd like a cat better than a dog, so it all worked out great that Alpine was right there, looking so adorable when we walked into the shelter." 

"I do like cats better. Not my pet, though, so I'm not sure why it'd matter, though." Nat looks at Steve oddly, but Steve can only shrug. He doesn't always understand Bucky either these days. 

"Yeah, come on now, man, I clearly like dogs better. Not going to take my consideration into picking your family pet?" Sam teases. "I'm offended, Barnes." 

"Well, keep on being offended. Only Stevie's girl gets the privilege of having her preferences taken into consideration," Bucky insists. 

And it gets so quiet in the kitchen as the dots all come together, that Steve swears he can hear Alpine's thoughts of world domination from several rooms away. He and Natasha look at each other for a long moment, then he and Sam share a look, then Steve finally looks at Bucky, who looks more confused than anything, and then they all just end up staring between each other until Sam, bless his soul, breaks the silence. 

"Steve's girl as in.... his girlfriend?" Sam clarifies, because better safe than sorry. 

Bucky just stares at all of them like they've gone insane. "Obviously. What else would I mean?"

"You didn't tell him." Natasha looks straight at Steve and that is  _ definitely  _ not an attempt to clarify and be better safe than sorry. To be fair, it's true that Steve hadn't told him. 

"It just... didn't come up?" Steve tries, wincing a bit. It sound stupid now that he has to say it out loud. 

"What didn't come up?" Bucky asks, frowning at them. "What did I say?" 

"Barnes, Steve and Natasha aren't dating. Not really," Sam explains. 

Bucky's frown only deepens. "But it says so on the internet. And it's all over the news constantly. People even have cute couple names for the two of you!" 

Steve sighs. This is... not ideal. On second thought, maybe he would have been better off explaining to Bucky from the start, but there's clearly no getting out of this now. "See, the thing is, Buck... When I came out of the ice, everyone was so eager to report on my girlfriend or whatever, that they'd put my picture in the paper with any girl I talked to for more than two seconds. It was... annoying, to say the least, so Nat, being a very good friend, offered to be my fake girlfriend. Give the papers something to report so they'd leave me alone. That's why everyone thinks we're dating. But we're not. We're just friends. Honestly." 

"And you never bothered telling me? Your  _ very real ex boyfriend _ ?" Bucky asks. He's alarmingly calm, which Steve knows is the number one sign that he's in big trouble. This used to be the best way to tell when one of them would be sleeping on the couch. "Except apparently maybe not ex boyfriend, because you've been available this whole time?" 

"I just... Didn't want to pressure you into anything by telling you we were together before the ice. And you never mentioned it either, so... I figured you didn't remember?" Steve explains, well aware it sounds a bit ridiculous. 

Bucky scoffs and somehow makes grabbing and eating a cat shaped cookie look menacing. "Maybe I didn't mention because I thought you had a girlfriend and I didn't want to be the one to come between you two!" 

"You know... This really feels like a conversation maybe Nat and I don't have to be around for," Sam says, glancing around nervously and starting to stand from the table. 

"Are you sure?" Natasha laughs. "It's just starting to get interesting." 

"Unfortunately, yes. Alpine Party postponed until further notice because I need to talk some sense into my big, dumb boyfriend, then fuck the ever living life out of him, then send him out to sleep on the couch for a few nights." Bucky stands up and ushers them out the front door. "Thanks for attending, Alpine sends his gratitude. Be sure to text around this time tomorrow to make sure I haven't murdered Stevie. But also, if we don't reply, don't come by to check in person. We might be making up for lost time." 

"Too many details, man!" Sam complains, which is the last thing Steve is aware of before he ends up with an armful of Bucky kissing him like there's no tomorrow. And yeah, Steve's sure he'll be sorry when Bucky actually comes around to giving him an earful and sending him out to the couch, but for now, he's just happy to  _ finally  _ have Bucky back. 

***

A few days later, Bucky posts a picture of Steve asleep in bed, with a hickey just barely visible above the cropping, with 'happy to report an amicable split between Captain Rogers and Agent Romanov :) don't expect to see much of Stevie this week ;)' as a caption. Steve's phone won't stop ringing from the entire Avengers PR department dealing with the utter chaos, but Steve doesn't have it in him to be upset. In fact, he's quite pleased the whole world knows he's Bucky's again. 

**Author's Note:**

> comments are loved and appreciated. 
> 
> follow me on Tumblr at sebbym17 or twitter @sebbypn to find out what I'm up to and future projects!


End file.
